Save Me From Myself

Screen Shot 2013-06-16 at 11.42.57 PMI’ve said, on multiple occasions, that my wife and three kids save me from myself every. single. day. It might sound like I’m overstating it, but I am not. Each day I rise to face another battle between myself and all that I hope, long and am called to be. Some days I win. Some days I lose. Yet every single day my wife of 16 years and my children (ages 12, 10 and 8) wipe the slate clean and we start all over. When I’m on the ledge, they pull me back.

Father’s Day 2013 was just one example of how important these other 4 are. My morning began with giggles and an announcement from the girls that “my sign wasn’t ready just yet.” They quietly were preparing a “Happy Father’s Day” sign with each of their individual, personal cards taped to it. Their cards were fitting of each of them. We could have called it a day there as each card spoke to my heart. But mama was holding out and the best present required me to leave the room and wait as they prepared for it’s unveiling.

When the blindfold was removed, I was stunned to find something that might sound so simple, yet means so very much to me….a white rocking chair. I’m sure there are jokes that could relate to my age and a rocking chair, but that’s not what this gift was for. You see, the white rocking chair is a symbol of where my heart is at peace. On front porches across the great state of North Carolina and even in the airport in Charlotte, white rocking chairs can be found. I would rest my weary travel self down in them on so many connecting flights through Charlotte. When I see one, I dream of a home in North Carolina with a large front porch and white rocking chairs out front. It brings me peace. I sets my soul at ease.

Because my bride knows me like no other, she knew that is just what I needed. I spent a majority of the day, with my family, rocking in that white chair. The last few months have done a number on my “self.” The weeks ahead hold big decisions that must be made. A week at the beach was good but we had to return home. In this chair I know I will find the pause button. I will read. I will study. I will pray and I will listen. I will “be still and know..”

To top off an incredible day, my girls spent a majority of the afternoon (while the boy and I were watching UNC in the College World Series) recording the video below. There are no words for what this meant as I read their notes. As if that wasn’t enough, they gave up their time…for me. They wrote their own words…for me. They were so excited….for me.

And they saved me from myself one more time.

2 thoughts on “Save Me From Myself

  1. Aaron as I sit here with tears in my eyes, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am grateful that your son’s games were cancelled and my 13 year old daughter’s were too (I didn’t want to miss them). I had no idea of the story behind your appearance at the reunion! I am so very grateful that I sensed something in you at the reunion. Genuineness, if that is a word, that made me stop and check your facebook page again tonight. I am grateful that I have taken the time to read around here…..I feel silly but I am not positive what “here” is. Lastly, I am grateful that I read this post. The interesting part is what brought tears to my eyes……your gift and explanation of it. I have such amazingly fond memories of an old squeeky rocking chair that my mom would rock us in….even when we were older. I loved it because it was one of the few times she would slow down and just “be” with us. Then you talked about the rockers on porches…..does everyone feel the same about them? I, too, love them. There is a set at Punderson where my mom and I go for a women’s retreat each year. I don’t have words for the feeling I get. Looking out over the lake, feeling the sun on my face, sensing my mother near and knowing God is better than good! And then you talked about a home with a big front porch full of rockers. I want one some day! Not sure why….maybe reading about them in fiction books? I really plan to have one! A porch where I could rock and talk with friends and family and just “be” for a while. Thanks for making me stop to reflect because I have been forgetting to do that with my own kids. I am afraid that if they made a video for me it would say things like…..makes us do jobs, is always worried about planning for the next thing, makes us do homework…practice the flute…read, drives us to our activites…..etc. I am aware of an overwhelming feeling of wanting to just “be” with my kids and my husband.
    And again…..I am grateful!
    No pressure but I signed up to keep reading!

    So very grateful for you sharing so honestly!

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