If you give a toilet a muffin

The other day we discovered a couple of drops of water in our basement. Directly above the drips is the open area to the first floor. The pipes coming down were a clear indication that the source of the problem was the toilet on the first floor. I’m no handy man, let me say it again, I’M NO HANDY MAN, but toilets are not that difficult. Or, so I thought.

I knew enough to know that the toilet sits on a wax ring and sometimes those wax rings go bad. This is where the story turns into the “if you give a moose a muffin” book. I ran out to the hardware store, picked up a new wax ring and promptly installed it. Job done. Turn on the water, flush said toilet and water runs everywhere! Apparently my moving this little porcelain demon from hades disrupted some of the seals between the tank and the seat.

Back to the hardware store for new seals.

Of course the 3 bolts holding said tank to said little porcelain spawn of satan were rusted and nearly impossible to remove.

Back to the hardware store for new bolts.

Of course the first attempt at putting on the new seal didn’t work. Eventually I got just the right amount of pressure applied and the leaking stopped…outside the tank. It was now leaking IN the tank.

Back to the hardware store for a new “flapper” (technical term)

Of course the new flapper didn’t stop the problem. Water continued to slowly run into the tank causing it to flush itself every couple of minutes.

Back to the hardware store for a new filler valve.

Of course the new filler valve didn’t stop the problem either. After 2 different seals between the tank and seat, I finally resolved the leaks and the little white demon was finally operational again.

Until I went back downstairs and there were drops on the floor below again….

Thankfully the drops were leftovers from one of the previous attempts when water ran on the floor. Otherwise I might have just replaced the entire thing with a bucket and a box of wipes. As to not jinx myself or upset the porcelain gods, so far, everything seems to be working fine. If you have a plumbing project, let me be really clear…I’m not your guy.

4 thoughts on “If you give a toilet a muffin

  1. Man, can I ever relate to this story! ANY plumbing story actually. Hey, why do a simple task in 30 minutes when you can spend the whole day savoring the experience!?

  2. “Savoring the experience” is right. Not to be graphic, but I probably showered 10 times in those 24-48 hours. I’m no germaphobe but just the mere thought of, well, you know, just made me sick. Felt so gross. Hats off to all those plumbers out there. Seriously. It’s a thankless job but a skill no doubt. Need the patience of a saint.

  3. Careful what you wish for Vic. I might just take you up on that if it ever happens again. Working on it again would be bad for my faith. More than one dirty word was uttered in the span of that 24-48 hours. Luckily order has been restored and I’ve asked for forgiveness.

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